Words are powerful. Our own words are powerful.
Think about when someone pays you a compliment and how you felt afterward. Now think about when someone directed a negative comment towards you and how it felt.
Negative talk is hurtful. It’s hurtful not only when it comes from another, but even more so when it’s directed from within your own thoughts.
So why are we constantly beating ourselves up with negative self talk? Maybe we do it because it gives us a reason to hold back. Maybe we do because we’ve done it our whole lives and it’s habitual (key word here).
The problem is, every time you talk negative to yourself you’re creating a larger deficit to get out of and a stronger belief that you can’t actually do something.
The other problem is that it’s so natural in our lives we may not even know we are doing it or that it’s even detrimental to our well being.
The reality is that we do this all time…raise your hand if you’ve told yourself:
I’m not good enough for that.
I can’t do that.
I’ll just fail again.
They’re better for the job than me.
I’m such an idiot.
I’m just not motivated to do this.
It’s not them it me.
THE WORST: It’s not me, it’s them. (This form of negative speak could be a whole post in itself.)
There are so many varying degrees and kinds of negative self talk that it’s impossible to cover all of them, but I hope you get the picture. It’s the narrative that some of us have led our whole lives.
It stops now.
Stop waking up and thinking about all the bad shit that could or will happen.
Stop thinking about how long the day will be and how you just can’t wait to get it over with.
Stop telling yourself that you can’t do it, because you can! Secret: if one person’s done it then you can too.
Think about self doubt and negative talk as taking 1 step forward and 5 steps back. That becomes a huge deficit pretty quick.
I’m not telling you to go all “rah rah” and positive affirmation each day, but some daily form of positive speak will go a long way.
What I am telling you to do is try to start each day with a positive and keep them going throughout the day. Think about something good that may happen in the day or happened that week. Think about the ways you’re going to kill the day instead of dread it.
Imagine your favorite place and how you’re going to get there soon. Ladies, look in the mirror and tell yourself you look pretty and today is gonna be a good day. Guys, do the same.
Create a new habit of assertiveness and positive self talk by practicing these things multiple times a day. Let’s be real and admit that we will slip in this practice. To reinforce the habit, for every negative thought replace it with 10 positive thoughts.
It may seem hokey, but this stuff isn’t bull shit. It works and it’s very powerful. Practice this over time and you’ll see the difference paying off in different areas of your life.
Just like anything, it takes consistency, time, and practice to make it beneficial. It’s easy to cast negative light on yourself. It’s fucking hard to always to be positive but that’s why it works.
The things that pay the biggest dividends are usually hardest.
So get out there with your bad self and start treating yourself with the respect you deserve!